if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
