So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
