I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize