its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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