I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
