Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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