I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
