MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
