i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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