Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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