it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
