So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
