So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She said her name was "party"
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
