I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I didn't notice because vodka
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Randomize
