I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
