I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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