u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
