Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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