i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
