she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
