Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I smell stomach acid.

Fav 13 1082 3166
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(503): View more from Oregon

I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.

(503): View more from Oregon

I am not joking.

Fav 30 1745 4257
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.

Fav 13 3171 1309
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I told you not to have sex with her on my futon

(612): View more from Minnesota

I didnt dude, i swear!

(952): View more from Minnesota

either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon

Fav 19 3057 7017
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(972): View more from Texas

Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?

Fav 11 5431 1621
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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

Fav 37 9743 1574
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.

Fav 65 3793 6977
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(831): View more from California

just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.

Fav 3 445 594
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Why is there a whip in the kitchen?

Fav 3 59 5
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