last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
