I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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