awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
