sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
