Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
