there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
