I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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