Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You made out with two different species that night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
