He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
