Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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