just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think I sprained my soul last night
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
