It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
