I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
