she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
