The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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