dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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