Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
