My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
