i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
