he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
