We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
