dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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