So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
