Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize