# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
