I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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