One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
