It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
