Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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