Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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