i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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