I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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