why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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