I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
