He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
