so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dicks are not precious.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
