does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize