Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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