When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
