a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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