We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize